The Planet “Ice”

Driving by feel
Driving by feel

I flew to Northern Ontario on the Thursday night redeye with a 2 hour stopover in Toronto. When I arrived in Sudbury Friday morning I picked up my car rental and headed off for Killarney.

It has been almost 10 years exactly since I have felt a Northern Ontario winter and if I have anything to do with it, it will be another 10 years before I see another one!

As I was sitting in the parking lot waiting for the car to warm up, my mind was trying to understand why anyone would consciously choose to live there. At some point over the course of the weekend it donned on me. All of the people in all of the freezing cold, snow covered places, honestly do not believe that the warm tropical islands they see on television are real! It is the only answer. It must be. I mean come on, if you have never been to a place like the Dominican Republic, or Jamaica, or Cuba, or Mexico, or Belize or 1000 other places, and you were sitting in your living room burning the furniture in order to stay warm, you would look at these places on the television and truly believe that they were a fantasy. There is no way as you turn your head to try to see through the ice covered window, and back to the warm tropical paradise on the TV screen that you could completely understand that it was real. Or as your hand is slowly freezing solid to the nozzle at the gas pump and you haven’t felt your toes in years, that you could mentally make the switch to a cold beer in your hand and warm sand squishing between your toes.

Well we have been to a few of these places and to everyone that exists in the frozen wasteland of the north, I am here to tell you that you are 100% correct in your belief! These places do not exist! It is all created inside a monstrous film studio for your viewing pleasure. As soon as you step outside the truth is there, it is exactly like your outside. In fact, the entire planet we call Earth should have been called Snow or Ice. The stories you hear about the ice age ending are lies, it has never ended. Just read through this blog and you will see the truth, I mean why would I spend time insulating Akupara if those places truly exist? And as the Admiral and I continue to work towards completing Akupara, and when we finally one day set sail for some of these places, it will only be because we have been selected to be in the film studio.

So in closing, to all of you who live on the planet “Ice”, lock your doors, do not travel, and save yourself the disappointment of learning the real truth. We will take care of that for you. And if we must continue to trudge through the deserted ice and snow covered beaches in hopes of someday finding a place like that while you are safely staying warm in your homes, it is a cross we are willing to bear.

Because if there really were places like that, and the general population actually learnt about them, they would be ruined and over run with people trying to thaw out.

So, as the beer guy on TV says, Stay safe my friend (and warm)! We will search for you and you have my word that the moment we find a place like that, we will be sure to share it with you..

And that is the long winded explanation as to why there was no work completed on Akupara this weekend!

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